Ok, I’m getting the tasteless joke out of the way early. Did you see that Colts game? They beat on Jacksonville like they was Adrian Peterson and the Jaguars was a defenseless four year old. Ba-dum-pum ching.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I’m here all week. Tip your waitress.
This Week’s Sucked And Won: Matthew Stafford, QB (DET). 2 interceptions and a fumble but no touchdowns. How’d they win this game anyway?
Congratulations to Devin Hester for becoming all time leader in return touchdowns (with 20), breaking the record held by his mentor, Deion Sanders.
Shocking realization of the week: The Eagles’ defense, which is nobody’s idea of a great stop unit, currently holds the longest active streak of consecutive games (15) with at least one takeaway.
Well that didn’t take long. This week both Teddy Bridgewater and Blake Bortles saw extended action, with relatively inauspicious results. In the midst of a Jaguars blowout loss, Bortles did show a little spark, throwing for over 200 yards and 2 touchdowns (but also 2 picks), but with Jacksonville now at a league-worst -75 in point differential, it’s hard to get too excited about anything.
Bridgewater was more non-descript, going 12-20 for 150 yards and no turnovers, but he also did nothing to help his team win, rather reminiscent of Derek Carr in that respect. Still, with the Adrian Peterson era possibly over in Minnesota, there’s literally no reason for Vikings’ fans to uncover their eyes right now, so throwing them a Bridgewater bone might help ease their suffering.
This Week’s Great But Lost: Brian Hoyer, QB (CLE). The Browns are just 1-2, but they could easily be 3-0, and someone needs to recognize that Brian Hoyer’s been terrific. Against Baltimore, he went 19-25 for 290 yards and a touchdown, with no picks. He hasn’t thrown an INT yet this season.
Every season has its share of surprises, but the biggest surprise thus far has got to be Arizona leading the tough NFC West as one of the few remaining 3-0s, despite having lost Carson Palmer for the last two games. No one saw this coming.
Thursday Pick: NY Giants (+3.5) @Washington (Las Vegas Hilton)
The Giants have won three of last four meetings here, and the one they didn’t win they lost by just one point, but more esoteric to this pick than the trend is my eyeballs. I don’t like how Washington looks. Despite their lofty point and yardage totals against the Eagles’ weak defense, they couldn’t put Philadelphia away when they had the chance. I think they left it all on the field too, and they don’t have a whole lot of time to recover. I’m taking the visitor to win outright here.
New York Giants 27 Washington RacialSlurs 21
“It can’t be a rivalry if you get your ass kicked all the time.” – Cardinals coach Bruce Arians, getting his team psyched up to play division rival San Francisco.
“That hole was probably the biggest hole I had in my whole career.” – Steelers RB LeVeon Bell, on the opening through which he ran for an 81 yard gain.
“To win an AFC North game on the road this year is going to be really, really hard to do. Our guys stepped up and did it.” – Ravens coach John Harbaugh, on his team’s come from behind win at Cleveland.
“He came in there and made some good plays. We expect to see a lot more of him in the future.” – Colts LB Erik Walden, on Jaguars QB Blake Bortles.
“That just NFC East football. That’s just how it be sometimes.” – Washington LB Brian Orakpo, on the particularly fesity nature of his team’s game with the Eagles.
“I would consider that a frustrating game. We had a chance to put that game away early and didn’t do it. That’s not a complete game.” – Saints T Zach Strief, on New Orleans less-than-dominating win over Minnesota.
“I wouldn’t call it a confrontation at all. He’s telling me something, I’m telling him something. He’s listening to me, I’m listening to him. We’ve got a great relationship. That’s my guy, that’s one of my best friends on the team.” – Cowboys RB DeMarco Murray, on what appeared to be a sideline argument with WR Dez Bryant.