(Won-Loss Record and Last Week’s Ranking in parentheses)
1. Seattle Seahawks (10-1) (1) – As good as it gets.
2. Denver Broncos (9-1) (2) – Any questions? No. No questions.
3. New Orleans Saints (8-2) (4) – Masters of their own NFC destiny.
4. Carolina Panthers (7-3) (5) – Proof that patience pays off.
5. Kansas City Chiefs (9-1) (3) – Bump in the road or massive pothole in the road?
6. New England Patriots (7-3) (5) – Brady v. Manning. The greatest mano a mano rivalry in sports since Bird v. Magic.
7. Indianapolis Colts (7-3) (8) – They get it done when they have to.
8. San Francisco 49ers (6-4) (7) – The big secret: Colin Kaepernick is no better or worse than Alex Smith.
9. Cincinnati Bengals (7-4) (10) – Home is where the wins are.
10. Chicago Bears (6-4) (11) – And the ultimate weapon…Josh McCown?
11. Arizona Cardinals (6-4) (13) – Now it gets tough…4 of last 6 vs. winning teams.
12. Detroit Lions (6-4) (8) – If disappointment wore a helmet it would be silver with a blue lion on it.
T-13. Philadelphia Eagles (6-5) (16) – When your quarterback leads the NFL in passer rating by 10 points, you’re better than people give you credit for.
T-13. Dallas Cowboys (5-5) (15) – Turns out they’ll have to break a sweat to win this division after all.
15. Green Bay Packers (5-5) (12) – Can Rodgers heal before their whole season is gone?
16. Miami Dolphins (5-5) (20) – It’s not irony that the o-line is the team’s huge achilles heel.
17. New York Giants (4-6) (22) – Four in a row and now they have a chance to knock off the Cowboys.
18. New York Jets (5-5) (14) – Road kill.
19. San Diego Chargers (4-6) (17) – Season on the line: can they knock off the Chiefs?
20. Cleveland Browns (4-6) (18) – Season on the line: can they hold off the Steelers?
21. Baltimore Ravens (4-6) (19) – No mystery: they’ve lost four of their last five.
22. Pittsburgh Steelers (4-6) (23) – Can they be the Giants of the AFC?
23. Oakland Raiders (4-6) (25) – They get six chances in a row to play spoiler.
24. Tennessee Titans (4-6) (21) – Locker out for the season. Titans done for the season.
25. Buffalo Bills (4-7) (27) – After the bye, a string of winnable games.
26. St. Louis Rams (4-6) (26) – Five of last six vs. winning teams.
27. Washington Redskins (3-7) (24) – When they say “anyone can win the NFC East,” they don’t mean these guys.
28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-8) (31) – I’m sorry, are the Bucs actually trying to say they just got off to a slow start?!
29. Minnesota Vikings (2-8) (28) – Need upgrades everywhere.
30. Atlanta Falcons (2-8) (29) – When they get everybody back healthy AND a top 5 pick, they should bounce back quickly.
31. Houston Texans (2-8) (30) – Houston, Andre has a problem. I waited this entire list for that joke.
32. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-9) (32) – Dear Mr. Khan: ignore that ad we took out. Screw Tebow. Draft Teddy Bridgewater. We’ll fill the stadium next year. We promise.