Well…that was….interesting.


That was my reaction after watching UFC 203, and hell, the weekend in general. The event was not bad at all. Just weird.

Did you know that a faulty elevator can injure someone’s back and prevent him from fighting? No? Well I can assure you that C.B. Dolloway hates elevators now…or just Cleveland. Who doesn’t hate Cleveland?

Did you also know that another elevator kerfuffle can make a fighter late for his weigh-in thus him paying a fine? No? Fabricio hates elevators now…or just Cleveland. Who doesn’t hate Cleveland?

Did you know you probably SHOULD NOT poke homies in the eye when you are surely losing? Shout out Jon Jones and Travis Browne, the best eye pokers in history!

Did you know that a 37 (38 next month) year old former “professional” wrestler with no MMA experience, no Martial Arts training, and is 37 years old has no business making his MMA debut in the UFC against someone 14 years younger with legit Martial Arts skills? Oh…you did? Well…moving on.

Did you know that throwing a flying side kick in within seconds of the fight starting could be a good idea?

Did you know that a coach should not start yelling at his fighter’s opponent at the end of the fight, and thus getting kicked in the chest by said opponent, with said opponent being 260lbs? Oh…you did? Moving on.

Did you know that you CANNOT call your own timeout during the fight? Oh…you did?

Did you know that Heavyweights hit hard? Oh…you did? Shut up. Just continue reading.

Jessica Andrade def. Joanne Calderwood (1st rd. Submission)

I was a bit depressed watching Joanne Calderwood get her ass kicked as well. Make no mistake about it: Jessica Andrade is a terror since dropping down from 135lbs. She can out-muscle anyone in the Strawweight division. Is she ready for a title shot now? Not unless you want Joanna Champion to ship Andrade’s head along with a picture of her broken bones back to her family in a box (too much?). One more fight against a top-tier opponent (Rose Namajunas or Tecia Torres comes to mind) and the winner should get the next crack at the champ, with Karolina Kowalkiewiczk presumably next in line.

Jimmie Rivera def. Urijah Faber (unanimous decision)

I must admit, I was pretty sad watching this fight. As I predicted, Jimmie Rivera showed cleaner striking, good takedown defense, was faster, and destroyed Faber’s lead leg with vicious leg kicks. A pretty knarly (and maybe intentional) eye poke in the third round left Jimmie wearing an eye patch in the days after.

Mickey Gall def. CM Punk (1st rd. submission)

Yeah yeah yeah, I know I picked Punk just for laughs. But CM Punk got punked, straight murked, mauled by Mickey Gall.

Yeah, moving on.

Oh, he did call out cheerleader prettyboy Super Saiyan Sage Northcutt: “I want ‘Super’ Sage Northcutt. I think that boy’s corny. I want to punch the spikes out of his hair,” Gall said. “They say guys like us might get protection, but (expletive) that, I want war.”

Yes please!!!

Fabricio Werdum def. Travis Browne (unanimous decision)

Dude threw a “flying side kick to the face!!!” in the opening seconds of the fight, and he almost knocked Browne out!!

Aside from that, the fight was pretty mundane. Oh, other than Browne blocking a punch and breaking his finger with the bone literally kicking of the skin! You can lookup the pictures yourself.

Fabricio Werdum def. Edmond Tarverdyan (via teep kick)

Edmond Tarverdyan is probably the worst coach in all of MMA. I am not one for hyperbole, but he is trash. I’ll let twitter explain this:

Stipe Miocic def. Alistar Overeem (1st rd. Knockout)

As usual with all Heavyweight fights, all it takes is one shot. That said, this was weird (notice a trend?). It seemed that Overeem’s gameplan was to run away. Literally run. Both exchanged a number of kicks , but Overeem caught Miocic with a straight punch that put the champ on his butt (wasn’t really hurt though). Overeem oddly followed up with a guillotine attempt, but didn’t look for ground-and-pound. Miocic defended perfectly and the fight continued with both fighter throwing heavy shots. Miocic took the fight to the ground again, and that’s all she wrote! Cleveland’s own, Stipe Miocic, defends the title.

Featured Image via MMA Junkie