1.  New England Patriots (12-3) (1) – Only 12 win team in the NFL.  Just sayin’.

2.  Seattle Seahawks (11-4) (3) – If you’re not afraid of the Seahawks right now, it’s because you’re on the Seahawks.

3.  Denver Broncos (11-4) (2) – Yeah, I get it, I’m supposed to think they’re in some kind of funk.  I don’t buy it.

4.  Green Bay Packers (11-4) (4) – As good as they have looked at times, I don’t trust them in the playoffs.

5.  Detroit Lions (11-4) (7) – Can make a very loud statement at Green Bay this Sunday.

6.  Pittsburgh Steelers (10-5) (T-8) – Have won 7 of 9 and are looking very ready for the postseason.

7.  Dallas Cowboys (11-4) (10) – Brand new ‘Boys?  Still have to prove it in the playoffs.

8.  Indianapolis Colts (10-5) (5) – Luck can only take you so far (ya see what I did there?)

9.  Cincinnati Bengals (10-4-1) (11) – The Steelers prefer syrup (private joke).

10.  Arizona Cardinals (11-4) (6) – It’s a damn shame how fate has screwed the Cardinals this year.

11.  San Diego Chargers (9-6) (T-14) – All of a sudden, it’s the Chargers.

12.  Baltimore Ravens (9-6) (T-8)  – They had it and now they have to wish for Christmas.

13.  Philadelphia Eagles (9-6) (12) – See what happens when you ignore your problems?

14.  Houston Texans (8-7) (17) – And they will themselves into the playoff race

15.  Miami Dolphins (8-7) (16) – On balance, a good decision to bring Philbin back.  This team was competitive and got close this year.

T-16.  Kansas City Chiefs (8-7) (13) – Have dropped four of five and are nearly in free fall.

T-16.  Buffalo Bills (8-7) (T-14) – In their defense, the Raiders are kicking ass and taking names at home right now.

18.  Carolina Panthers (6-8-1) (24) – The team that couldn’t win suddenly can’t lose.

19.  New York Giants (6-9) (22) – They’ll finish under .500, so I guess that means we know who’s winning the Super Bowl next year, right?

20.  St. Louis Rams (6-9) (18) – Heard a half-joking rumor that they might be interested in trading for Robert Griffin in the offseason.  If they do it, Alanis Morissette is gonna have to write a fourth verse to Ironic.

21.  San Francisco 49ers (7-8) (19) – Next year, when everybody claims that the 49ers are falling apart without Jim Harbaugh, remember that they’re a 7 win team with an ancient running back, no receivers and a defense that’s about to lose 4 or 5 players in the offseason.  But it’s because of Harbaugh, because, they said.

22.  Atlanta Falcons (6-9) (25) – Big deal you beat the Saints in New Orleans.  EVERYBODY does that.

23.  Cleveland Browns (7-8) (20) – Congrats to the Browns.  They’ve gotten zero information on Johnny Manziel, they didn’t win squat with Brian Hoyer, and now they have neither.

24.  Minnesota Vikings (6-9) (21) – A big key to this season?  They’ve gone winless in division.

25.  New Orleans Saints (6-9) (23) – They’ve been so horrible this season, I kind of expect to see a bloody hand come out of the turf now that they’ve been eliminated.

26.  Oakland Raiders (3-12) (29) – Of all the cellar dwellers, their situation seems the best.

27.  Chicago Bears (5-10) (26) – Free to a good home.  One Cutler.  Slightly used.  Not good with children or teammates.  Requires special handling.  Brandon Marshall not included.

28.  Jacksonville Jaguars (3-12) (30) – Before anything else, fix that o-line before you break your shiny new quarterback.

29.  Washington RacialSlurs (4-11) (31) – The good news:  RGIII can be redeemed.  The bad news:  Jay Gruden is an idiot too.

30.  New York Jets (3-12) (27) – Interesting:  Rex Ryan’s next job.  Not interesting:  Geno Smith’s next press conference.

31.  Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-13) – (to the tune of Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off)  You say Jameis, I say Jamias.  You say Mariota, I say Mariotta.   Jameis, Jamias, Mariota, Mariotta, we get a new Q B!

32.  Tennessee Titans (2-13) – Just like Tampa, bottom 2 in a 2-quarterback draft is a good place to be.

(Won-Loss Record and Last Week’s Ranking in parentheses)