The NFL has clearly lost their damn mind. Earlier today, they announced all bags larger than a small clutch will NOT be permitted into games this season.
Citing the recent Boston Marathon attack as the key force behind this “initiative”, clear ziplock bags up to a gallon in size will be permitted but no other bags will be allowed inside games.
“Prohibited items include, but are not limited to: purses larger than a clutch bag, coolers, briefcases, backpacks, fanny packs, cinch bags, seat cushions, luggage of any kind, computer bags and camera bags or any bag larger than the permissible size. Our fans deserve to be in a safe and secure environment,” said Jeffrey Miller, NFL vice president and chief security officer. “Public safety is our top priority. This will make the job of checking items much more efficient and effective. We will be able to deliver a better and quicker experience at the gates and also provide a safer environment. We appreciate our fans’ cooperation.”
Essentially, the NFL has just enraged 45% of it’s fanbase by excluding purses larger than my hand inside to a game.
For many, going to a game is an all-day affair.
Women don’t wear cargo shorts with 15 different pockets like many guys can get away with. We come to games prepared and a purse the size of my damn hand is enough to fit a cellphone and an ID. NOTHING ELSE.
And don’t mention ziplock bags to me. How many people would prefer to hold a ziplock bag vs using a purse with a shoulder strap?
What happens for cold games when we need a blanket? Or rainy games when we need a poncho? What if you want to take a toddler to a game and now can’t take a diaper bag? Or god forbid, a woman is on her period and needs to take tampons into the game.
As I’m having a mild freakout over what I’m going to do at the games this season about my purse size, a few ideas come to mind
-Buy a bigger bra size and shove as many items into your bra as possible.
-Invest HEAVILY into dresses with pockets
-Bug the crap out of any guy your with to put stuff in their pockets for you
Maybe utilizing these methods along with a clutch would suffice, but let’s face it, this is going to be a huge pain in the ass for female fans.
Will this purse ban affect if you go to the games or not? Let us know in the comments…
