“Who wants a f*cking vacuum for Christmas?”

This is the exact phrase I muttered to myself while searching for Christmas gift ideas over the weekend. Sure, you may save 30 percent but have you ever experienced an overwhelming sense of joy while opening a present that reveals a three-speed blender?

No. You have not.

Which is why the GuysGirl holiday shopping guide is here to save you.

Whether you’re looking to nail that Secret Santa gift or grab something for yourself, we have perfect gift ideas for sports fans, geek fanatics and women who many drink a little too much.

Best part of all? The majority of these gifts are available on Amazon so you can two-day ship that sucker to your house while avoiding the crazies at the mall.