(Won-Loss Record and Last Season’s Final Ranking in parentheses)
1. Baltimore Ravens (0-0) (8) – As always, your Super Bowl champion is the week 1 leader.
2. Denver Broncos (0-0) (1) – This is their year.
3. Seattle Seahawks (0-0) (6) – Everybody Loves Russell.
4. San Francisco 49ers (0-0) (5) – Unfinished business.
5. New England Patriots (0-0) (3) – The thrill is gone?
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6. Green Bay Packers (0-0) (4) – Still dangerous.
7. Cincinnati Bengals (0-0) (9) – Can Dalton take them to the next level?
8. Houston Texans (0-0) (7) – Can Schaub take them to the next level?
9. Atlanta Falcons (0-0) (2) – Fool me once, shame on you…yada yada yada
10. New Orleans Saints (0-0) (16) – I’m a Breeliever. Soon you will be too (you see what I did there?)
11. Indianapolis Colts (0-0) (12) – Out to prove it wasn’t just Luck (you see what I did there?)
12. Chicago Bears (0-0) (13) – Da Bears might just win DaVision.
13. Pittsburgh Steelers (0-0) (15) – A new era in Pittsburgh. Sort of.
14. Detroit Lions (0-0) (27) – And our first listing certain to make me look stupid.
15. Dallas Cowboys (0-0) (17) – In a year when 9-7 probably is good enough…your 2013 Dallas Cowboys!
16. Minnesota Vikings (0-0) (11) – Adrian Peterson can win you a fantasy championship all by himself. Just not a real one.
17. New York Giants (0-0) (14) – Injury bug has come early to New York.
18. Washington Redskins (0-0) (10) – Washington. Where Mike Shanahan’s reputation went to die.
19. Arizona Cardinals (0-0) (26) – In case you were wondering, this was the dividing line between the good and bad teams.
20. Miami Dolphins (0-0) (20) – Because someone has to come in second.
21. St. Louis Rams (0-0) (18) – Potential surprise team?
22. Cleveland Browns (0-0) (24) – Another potential dark horse.
23. Carolina Panthers (0-0) (19) – Still not enough defense.
24. San Diego Chargers (0-0) (21) – A Philip Rivers is a terrible thing to waste.
T-25. Kansas City Chiefs (0-0) (32) – The Andy Reid era begins.
T-25. Philadelphia Eagles (0-0) (29) – The Andy Reid era ends (and the Chip Kelly era begins).
27. Buffalo Bills (0-0) (23) – The E.J. Manuel era begins.
28. New York Jets (0-0) (25) – The Geno Smith era begins. And ends. And the Mark Sanchez era ends. They’re a mess.
29. Tennessee Titans (0-0) (28) – The team time forgot.
30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-0) (22) – Not enough fixes.
31. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-0) (31) – Blaine Gabbert is still the QB.
32. Oakland Raiders (0-0) (30) – So bad, Blaine Gabbert would help them.