MLB is kicking off the season on US soil Sunday night when the Dodgers take on the Padres and a full slate of games Monday to commence the national past-time’s Opening Day.

Even if your team isn’t as good as you hoped, there’s nothing better than hotdogs, drinks and the smell of baseball.

But because baseball season has snuck up on a bunch of us, and many need a quick recap, here are one-sentence previews for every team’s 2014 outlook….

 

AL East

Baltimore Orioles, two-words one name: Chris Davis; undoubtedly postseason bound.

Boston Red Sox, the reigning world champs from, if they don’t go back to the postseason, it’ll be a surprise.

NewYork Yankees, will probably make the wildcard, and even though they brought all of the Red Sox’s players this off season; money isn’t everything.

Toronto Blue Jays, another rebuilding year (2015 is your year) but then again, they play in one of the hardest divisions.

Tampa Bay Rays , tough division but they will finish 4th.

 

NL East

Atlanta Braves, will finish first in their division, they have a strong enough team to make it all the way provided they are CONSISTENT!

Washington Nationals, if Atlanta isn’t consistent this season the Nationals will surpass them into the postseason.

Miami Marlins, do I need a sentence for them?

New York Mets, what’s the difference between the New York Mets and a mosquito?  A mosquito stops sucking.

Philadelphia Phillies, a very young and rebuilding team; I’d be surprised if they got a wildcard.

 

AL Central

Chicago White Sox, you’re not the Red Sox, nice try.

Cleveland Indians, what do you call an Indians player with a World Series ring? A thief.

Detroit Tigers, they’ll finish first in their division, but won’t win it all.

Kansas City, will place second in their division this year.

Minnesota Twins, really haven’t produced the last few years.

 

NL Central

Pittsburgh Pirates, will finish first in their division and make the postseason again, possibly win it all.

St.Louis Cardinals, doesn’t want to get their butts kicked by the Red Sox again, they’ll make the postseason, but that’s as far as they go.

Cincinnati Reds, no playoffs or wildcard

Milwaukee Brewers, probably finish  fourth in their division but I don’t see them going anywhere this season.

Chicago Cubs, I don’t know why, but I have a feeling the Cubs will surprise everyone and actually be good this season.

 

AL West

Houston Astros, the only thing this team is good at, is trading all its quality players to the Philadelphia Phillies.

Los Angeles Angels, had a full season of failures last year, they need more fish to help Trout out.

Oakland Athletics, I’m predicting that the A’s will go to the postseason

Seattle Mariners, just because they now have Robinson Cano doesn’t mean they will actually go far this season.

Texas Rangers, the Rangers need to call Chuck Norris to help them win this season

 

NL West

Arizona Diamondbacks, their pitching staff isn’t the best, but they do have a good offense.

Colorado Rockies, a big improvement from last year but still not championship ready.

Los Angeles Dodgers, this team just surpassed the NY Yankees on spending, ohh boy, thats one way to win a World Series.

San Diego Padres, San Diego had a team?

San Francisco Giants, the Giants perform well no matter what, so I say they finish second in the division

 

Enjoy the season and PLAY BALL!

 

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