Is your relationship in trouble? It may not be clear why. You may not have any recurring issue that keeps coming up — you might just be drifting apart. Some couples do have issues that crop up time and time again, and this could be the reason you’re not getting on.
I believe all relationships can be saved if both partners want it to work. Let’s take a look at the only way you can save your relationship:
Work Out What is Troubling You
What exactly is troubling you, or both of you? Try to think about it before you approach the situation so you can do so calmly and with some suggestions to work things out. Is your partner spending too much time with their friends? Do you feel like you don’t talk anymore? Is your sex life boring? Whatever it is, work it out. Some smaller issues may actually be down to bigger issues. For example, if your partner always gets on at you for speaking to male friends, it may be insecurity problems on their part.
Approach Your Partner
The way you approach your partner will make a huge difference to the way this situation pans out. You need to be calm, and ideally you’ll both be in a good mood. They need to be open to this communication, or you’ve lost before you’ve even started.
Don’t Use Accusatory Language
Using accusatory language is very dangerous, and will put your partner straight on the defensive. They’ll start back at you and this whole thing will end in a row. Trust me, people do it all the time. You can’t say things like ‘you always’. You need to say things like ‘sometimes I feel like’. Because this helps them empathize with you, rather than feel attacked.
Communicate With One Another
Communicate with one another. This is a skill, but it can be learned. You need to remain calm, and learn not to say things in the heat of the moment. You can’t bring things up that have nothing to do with the issue at hand. You need to stay on point, or you can both go off on tangents and end up arguing about something completely different. Say how you both feel, and don’t place the blame. Try to come to an agreement, rather than win an argument.
See a Counselor
If you’re both really struggling, see a counselor. They may be able to teach you how to communicate better, and you may get a few things out into the open. Some couples are embarrassed about seeing a counselor, but it stops you from needing divorce mediation somewhere along the line when you can’t even look at one another.
Relationships are all about compromise. If you’re unwilling to make compromises, you’re not doing your bit. Both of you should be willing, or it seems that one of you doesn’t want it to work. While it’s important your needs are met, you need to make sure your partner’s are too.
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